Quotes from Episode2 - Hell-A Woman

After receiving encouragement from all sides, Hank starts his blogging gig at Hell-A Magazine. Plus, under the guise of inviting Hank to family dinner at her and Bill's house, Karen sets up Hank with her friend Sonja. At dinner, Becca reveals how Hank met Karen.

I probably won’t go down in history, but I will go down on your sister

A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness

Well, maybe I’m in the minority here, but I just don’t think there’s anything sick and wrong about a little fucking and punching between consenting adults.

Are you sure you’re not making a deal with the devil that your ass can’t cash?

You must be looking like Art Garfunkel down there lately.

There’s nothing quite like getting stoned on the very bed that your ex-domestic partner shares with her fiancé. It’s the little things.

Well, instead of finding out that your husband was gay, you could’ve found out that he was a…scientologist or something like that. Or a Nazi. Or Al Qaeda.

Nobody likes you. You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you fucking douche.

Hell-A Magazine blog number one. Hank hates you all. A few things I’ve learned in my travels through this crazy little thing called life. One: a morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness. Two: I probably won’t go down in history, but I will go down on your sister. And three: while I’m down there, it might be nice to see a hint of pubis. I’m not talking about a huge’70s playboy bush or anything, just something that reminds me that I’m performing cunnilingus on an adult. But I guess the larger question is,  why is the city of angels so hell-bent on destroying its female population?

I think I just lost my manhood. And got hungry at the same time.

Your voice is a shotgun blast to all the pretentious fucks who pollute this once-great city of yours.

You have owed your publisher a book since Becca was breast-feeding. I remember because I used to like to watch Karen do that.

Funky back tat on the small of the back. You know what that means. She likes it in the pooper.

Your assistant makes me want to touch myself in a bad place.

Yes, and it might be nice if I could fellate myself while farting the white album, but I haven’t been able to quite master that yet.

You looking for a cock punch?

I’m a writer. Non practicing.

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