Quotes by Becca

Sometimes burps smell worse than farts.

I suddenly understand the appeal of cigarettes and alcohol.

It’s recently come to my attention that men cannot be trusted.

No one walks in L.A.

There is no “always”, there’s just right now.

There is no right or wrong, just the consequences of your actions.

If you keep cracking jokes and taking another drink and pretending that life is one big, stupid party, you will miss everything.

The satanic bible is actually the ultimate self-help book. It’s not about worshipping the devil. It’s about believing in yourself first and foremost and not wasting your time on psychic vampires. If you read it, You might learn a thing or two because it actually makes a hell of a lot more sense than the gobbledygook you’re passing off on the average everyday barnes & noble bottom-feeder. That’s right – I’ve read your book. I want my money back.

I would like to thank the lord below for giving me the strength to make it through this dinner. Praise hail satan.

And here I was, planning to run for prom queen.

Parents who truly love their children make sacrifices to home-school them.

He is who he is, Mom. You knew that when you jumped into the car with us. If you’re worried you made a mistake, that’s not his fault. You have to love him for who he is,not his potential.

You know, it’s all well and good to talk about happy endings. But if a person can’t deliver, if he keeps screwing up, well, eventually, I guess you kind of just have to say “fuck you” or words to that effect.

Well, basically it’s about how nothing good ever lasts. How, no matter what you do, it all just turns to shit in the end. You know, like you and mom.

I want to be a 40-year-old virgin. Because it seems like, once you get laid, your life basically turns to shit.

Father? Can I ask you something? Why is there a naked lady in your bedroom? There’s no hair on her vagina. Do you think she’s okay?

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