Quotes by Hank Moody

What was that? What’d you just say just now? L.O.L.? Laugh out loud? That’s a part of your lexicon? Really? L.O.L.?

It’s about a girl. She’s beautiful. She’s smart and funny, up for all kinds of intercourse.

I’m back, and you’re Black, which is cool. I’m a big fan of Black Jesus.

For a radical environmentalist such as yourself, this whole evening must have given you a clit-boner.

You need a double dose of Viagra to get wood and you wear a fanny pack on the weekends.

Fuck around all you want, I’m no judge Judy. But don’t string a woman along for a major chunk of her childbearing years. That’s not cool.

Time to hang up your drinking shoes, lady.

Take it easy there, Diane Arbus. Don’t have a coronary, ’cause I wouldn’t know how to explain that to your wife.

If you’re having problems in the boudoir, it’s worth a conversation with the old lady.

Well, I’m not much one for causes, good or otherwise. I’m not a joiner.

Now I’m Hank Moody the blogger, soon to be Hank Moody the bartender.

Well, that’s what I do. I entertain.

I find interesting to hear these people ranting and raving about saving the environment when they’ll probably blow like 10 000 pounds of fuel on their private jet planes getting down to Cabo this weekend. That’s right, babs. You heard me. Tell Oprah I said so. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, ladies.

Talk, really? Has anything good ever come of such a thing ever?

Good morning, Hell-A. In the land of the lotus-eaters, time plays tricks on you. One day you’re dreaming, the next, your dream has become your reality. It was the best of times. If only someone had told me. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned. My family goes on without me, while I drown in a sea of pointless pussy. I don’t know how I got here. But here I am, rotting away in the warm California sun. There are things I need to figure out, for her sake, at least. The clock is ticking. The gap is widening. She won’t always love me “no matter what”

Honey, to quote The Clash, should I stay or should I rock the Casbah?

Don’t look a gift piece of overpriced pop art in the mouth.

You have a dog named Cat Stevens? Holy fuck!

Did you ever have one of those days where you feel like a tired, old whore whose uterus is about to fall out? I think I’m in touch with that emotion.

It’s a “broner”. The word I’m looking for. Unintentionally man-inspired boner… broner. Duly noted. Broner!

Hank Moody Clothing and Style