Quotes by Marcy

Not everyone is freakishly tall!

My dirty little whore of a nose is sorry that she let you down. But she loves you so much she’s willing to go chill out at her mother’s.

Put down those shuffleboard sticks. Marcy’s coming to suck your dicks!

Going to my mother’s makes me want to do drugs! A lot of ’em!

Let’s party while this bitch can still get wet.

Once you see the love of your life get hit in the face with another woman’s ejaculate… your perspective changes.

You don’t deny your man the ass. You give it to him. Because once he knows he can have that… he ain’t gonna want that shit anymore.

Do you know how hard it is to get a girl off? It is like disconnecting a bomb. I mean, there’s all these wires and shit down there. Who knows which one you’re supposed to cross or pull. Plus, the studies show that the female orgasm is, like, what, 99% mental. Who has time for that?!

That’s the kind of bling you like, right? Dead people’s jewelry?

Are they good with the diamonds, the canadians? I thought just the bacon.

Now, I don’t know if that makes me a fucking rug-muncher. But that sweet, little Goth nutjob makes this girl want to put her finger in the dike.

I think we should go out there and fuck all the people we never fucked. Let’s just rock out with our cocks out! Carpe motherfucking diem, baby!

I don’t wanna go where Hank has been. He probably left booby traps up there like the Vietcong.

What is a marriage, if not an opportunity to mock someone through thick and thin while simultaneously exploring your deepest darkest sexual desires?

Are you sure you’re not making a deal with the devil that your ass can’t cash?

You must be looking like Art Garfunkel down there lately.

Honey trust me, getting your asshole bleached would be much more fun.

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